…But they will never take my FREEEEEEDOOOOOOM!

Finally. After 4 years, I am FREE from Retail Hell. Well. I guess it’s more like Retail Purgatory since I was able to escape? I don’t know. I’m not Catholic.

For those of you who know me, you know that I have been a manager at a clothing store* for about 2 years (worked for the company for about 4, though). You also probably know how completely miserable it has made me. Seriously. I have become that person you don’t want to hang out with. Seriously. Ask J if you don’t believe me. Well. Last week I was sent over the edge and I quit. I cannot describe to you how liberated I felt by handing over my keys and walking out. And I can promise you this. I will never set foot in that store again. No. I am not exaggerating.

Anyway. If you have never worked in retail or any type of customer service setting really, then you are missing out on a whole realm of crazy people. Literally. From the people that stand outside your doors waiting for you to open in a snow storm (no joke. this really happened) because they just had to get that cardigan or they wouldn’t make it through the night all snowed in at their house to the ones that bite your head off because they machine washed a shirt that specifically says “handwash only” on the tag and thinks you should now return it for them because it is, in fact, ruined (duh). Oh. You know who you are. Honestly, you learn a whole lot about people by working retail.

Some things are funny. Like the time I had a bunch of kids come in trying to steal. I followed them around, asking if I could help them with anything. Let one dude in the fitting room to try on a pair of pants. When he came out of the fitting room, he didn’t have the pants and they weren’t in the room. So, I continued to ask him about the pants. How they fit, etc., etc. He proceeded to bend over in front of me, revealing the pair of pants underneath his pants. His friends see this and take off. I continue to ask about the pants. He runs to the fitting room and tells the associate he needs in. The associate says, “Um. Would you like something to try on?” One of the funniest moments of all my retail experience.

Some things I would rather not know. For instance, I’ve had “Christians” come in. Try on one of everything in the store (literally). Leave all of it in a big pile on the floor in their fitting room. Ask you to search all over creation for a sale t-shirt that came out 5 months ago. Tell you all about their latest problems (but they know that God is in control). And then submit a complaint because you didn’t do “enough.” How does this show love? Are we aware of how we treat people that are “working” for us? Do we even care? If this is how you shop: a. don’t tell me. i probably won’t be your friend anymore. b. please don’t bring God into it. and c. maybe this type of incident says more about you, than the worker.

*If you know the name of the company, please refrain from citing it on this blog. I really don’t want a defamation lawsuit on my hands. Not that they would get anything from me. I mean. Honestly. I guess they could have my couch. Kind of wanted to get rid of it anyway.