For those that know me well, you know that I am that rare person who really enjoys change. Even if you don’t know me that well, you can probably guess my love for change based on my new hair color every few weeks. I don’t quite know what color to call my latest hue…it was a happy accident. I digress. I am usually up for anything new. I love diversity. I embrace challenges, mostly because I’m insanely stubborn.
Those close to me know these things about me. So the news of us adopting didn’t really catch them off guard. And the news of us adopting 3 kiddies simultaneously, thought it made their eyes bulge for a moment, didn’t really bother or phase them. For the most part, our family & friends have been hugely supportive. Then there are those few who, when I make a comment about Jud driving me nuts, say things like, “It’s not going to get any easier when you add 3 more.”
Duh. Thank you for that super enlightening and oh so helpful comment.
In my last blog, I wrote some raw honesty about motherhood. And I received (expected) criticism from some. And I’m sure there are others who criticized & critiqued me without telling me. Think what you want of me. But if you’re going to cast judgment, I want you to know something about my family first.
We have counted the cost.
We know that the road we are traveling down is not an easy one. Is following Jesus really ever easy? We have not made this decision on a whim. We have not made this decision because we are unable to have biological children. As far as we know, all the baby making parts work just fine. We have not made this decision because we want to grow our family, though we do. We have not made this decision because it’s the cool & trendy thing to do. When have you known Jcool ever be trendy anyway?
We have made this decision out of obedience to our Father.
There are so many unknowns that come with foster adoption. Will the boys’ social worker think we’re good enough to even consider placing them with us? Will the boys like us? How will Jud adjust? Will we be able to handle their behavioral needs? Will people stop hanging out with us because of their behavioral needs?
Most days I waffle between immense joy & excitement and overwhelming fear & anxiety.
Suffice it to say, I have enough fear & doubt without haters coming along and whispering more fear & doubt in my ear. Are you sure you can handle this? Three more kids at the same time? Are you crazy? What about Judson? Are you sure God is telling you to do this? You think 1 kid is tough, just wait til you have 4. Well haters, here’s some breaking news for ya:
Obedience comes with a price. Jesus on the cross – case & point.
We know that this journey will require sacrifices. We know that it’s not going to be cotton candy & lollipops all day everyday. We know that sometimes we will feel like throwing up a white flag. But we also know that God has called us to this journey. And even on the days when I can’t seem to drown out the noise of fear & doubt, that is enough to sustain me.
So do me favor. Next time you think, “They have got to be nuts. How are they going to do this?” Will you pray for us? Pray that the fear & doubt will disappear. Pray for favor with the boys’ social worker. Pray for receptiveness with the boys. Pray for Jud. Pray for strength.
Pray for us instead of whispering more fear & doubt into our lives.