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Adoption is such a bittersweet journey. It is wrought with pain and loss. But also intertwined with love and indescribable joy. Two years ago, a woman gave birth to a baby boy that I get to call my son. I am immensely grateful for that woman. I almost feel like I need to speak of her in hushed, reverent tones. Because, while some of her choices would not be my own, she gave life to my son. She gave life to our family. And I will be forever grateful to her. I will be forever honored that I get to raise this beautiful boy that she birthed. And I will be forever heartbroken for her.

It breaks my heart that I cannot share the details of his birth. In fact, two years ago on this day, while his first mom was giving birth to him, I was in another state completely unaware he existed.

We wouldn’t know about him for another 6 days. It breaks my heart that I wasn’t there for him from the very beginning. Six days probably doesn’t seem like a lot to most people, but I would give anything to have 6 more days to hold & love my baby boy. And I would give anything for his first mama to have more than just six days with him. His birthday is happy, a beautiful miracle. And a painful reminder all in one.

Many people ask us why? Why adoption? Why foster adoption? Well, why not? I don’t have a whole lot to offer in the mom department by way of awesome pinterest crafts & dinners, but I have a whole lot of love. (And sarcasm. Essentially, these kids are destined for greatness.) Of course there are risks and it’s scary & uncertain a lot of the time. But love is always risky. What kind of person would I be if I kept my love for easier, less risky people? What kind of Christ-follower would I be?

Jesus loves me with abandon, especially when it’s risky or difficult. That’s why.